This year, I’ve been kicking in the idea of giving up something for Lent.
I think giving up something “for” Lent implies that I am making a decision based on my faith to give up something for 40 days that will bring me closer to God. Um, this isn’t totally that. For one thing, I’m not Catholic. For another, I’m not religious. I’ll spare my long drawn out feelings, but I do think that God lies within. Our bodies are our temples and we should work hard to keep ourselves happy and make the best temple we can for this God inside of us. And that’s why I’ve been wondering if I should use this time of solemn reflection to piggy back and do my own type of fast. The question was what?
I thought about my vices: alcohol (hahaha, nice try, liver), sex (psh, yeah right), fast food (I’ve already cut way back on it and see it as more of a treat than a necessity) facebook. Hmm. Facebook.
Each morning as I curse my alarm clock, when I finally open my eyes, I pick up the cell phone next to my bed and see what happened on Facebook the last time I was on. You know, during those 8 hours where me and the rest of the East Coast were sleeping? I then work for 8 hours and I’m an excellent employee never once checking it. I don’t even make status messages. Guys, I’m mad serious, I don’t even consider Facebook while I work at my job at the best job ever that is great all the time. Until 5pm and my cell phone lives in my hand as I check status messages from my couch. If the cell isn’t in my hand, it’s because my laptop is and I’m obsessing that way. And it’s not only facebook; Twitter is up and running too. And within the last year, I’ve been checking Reddit like a crackfiend. This is my vice and it’s got to stop.
I’ve actually improved from where I was. I don’t update my status message that much anymore and Twitter has turned into something I check more to say something I think of off the top of my head than to keep up with what everyone else is saying. Right now, Reddit is the bulk of my time killing. But I still feel the need to disconnect. As modern day as I am, there’s something to be said about disconnecting for a while and remembering what it’s like to look people in the eyes as you walk down the street. If I’m at a table sitting by myself momentarily, notice the decor of the room rather than wishing someone, ANYONE would update their status so I don’t look as awkward as I feel. And feeling awkward is another thing I hope to lose in all of this. My whole young adult life, I’ve mastered being alone but not lonely. Yet lately, when I’m so easily connected to the world, I find this need to fill in gaps with more than my own thoughts.
So what do I hope to find in this 40 days and 40 nights of disconnect from these modern forms of “communication”? I’m not really sure. I hope to get closer to people in my life. Instead of hitting the ‘net to tell 400 acquaintances how my day’s been going, picking up the phone to ask one friend how their day went. I’ve got some new projects to pick up and old projects I want to finish. Instead of micro-blogging, restart actual blogging to my readers…there’s so much I hope to learn out of this. Most importantly, I hope I take some time to talk to myself in all of this and hear what I have to say. I don’t expect magic to happen, but I do want to give myself less excuses, and more room for myself to grow and change.
See you real soon.